I’m already an odd child seeing how I’ve grown up. And I know going into the next generation we want to build a bright and shining future. But I’ve decided just for funzies I’m gonna make my kids into a bunch of freaks.
They’ll grow up watching nothing but cartoons and anime. When other kids go to swim practice and football I’m gonna put them through our private obstacle course and train them to be ninjas.
I’ll teach them that Santa is a rogue Samurai they need to defeat and every Christmas I’ll pay some random guy to sneak into our house and tell my kids if they want their presents they have to take down Santa without killing him.
Whenever I go to the movies I’ll equate everything to being not as cool as this or that Anime. And the only games they’ll be allowed to play (until they’ve 100% completed them) are Kingdom Hearts, Dark Souls and Zelda.
They’ll probably grow up with all kinds of issues, get PTSD later in life from assassinating Santa every year. But gosh dang! They’ll be awesome kids!
(Disclaimer: if you actually think I’m serious about 97% of all this, I’m speechless, you need help.)